Trust

I'm not quite sure if you know how long it is going to take to truly gain my trust back. Even though you seem to think you 'know me'. I'm not sure you do.

This year has been very hard for me. I'm not saying I'm innocent at times, but there were a lot of times that I really wasn't doing anything and you would just poke at me. It was like why do you have to keep doing this. You did back me up into a corner and I felt like I had to fight my way out. Only problem was I was the one that got the blame for it.

It's a bit .. well curious that my family really didn't blame me. Specially my mother. She would have always said I should have done this or that, but nothing. I get that families stick together and support each other and what not but my mom has not done that so much for me. And you know that. Annnnndddd.. You lucked out with my brother when he was here cause he would have pretty much killed ya.

I'm proud of my family. I love my family. We can fight or argue and still be close right after. My mom it's been a work in progress. But we were brought up right. And I do regret moving here because of that. That your family isn't a family and I've tried my best to get things more together but no one is willing to put in the effort and when you only have one person doing it it's pretty difficult.

I don't know what your thoughts on trust. And how fast you then trust someone. Me I will constantly look for those red flags that give me a heads up. It is humorous to me that when you lied I was able to call you out on it, even when you kept trying to deny it. I'm not an idiot. And really .. I'm a much better liar :) Maybe not so much anymore because I don't want to be that person and I think it's respectable to tell the truth. I believe lying to someone is being a coward and I don't want to be a hypocrite but I can completely call someone out on their lies .. you can see it. It's not that hard.

That's probably why I'll have such a hard time trusting you again. I look at you and I don't believe it. I believe it's just another lie.