Fingers Crossed

I'm really hoping that things are changing. I'm begging and praying that things are changing. I'm hesitant when you say it. I want to believe you, but believing in you in the past just slapped me in the face. And I really don't need that again. I really don't!

I repeat myself a lot. I'll admit it. But I also don't think you understand why. It's like the first time you don't listen, the second time it might be a word or two getting thru .. I keep saying it so you can feel what you did. How it impacted me. And then I wonder if you actually care. 

Just wished 9 years ago you would of fought. But I guess it's never TOO late ?!? I hope it's never too late anyways. But what I hope for and what happens, well it seems to never happen. I keep praying that it will, only time will tell.

I guess, I just don't think you know what you could be losing at times. That I am some how, which way or another never going to walk away. And I might not walk, I just might be gone. Then what? Where does that leave you?? Have you even thought about that? Oh well.

I really truly hope that you are going to be the man that I thought I was marrying.