Gave In

I always give in. Yes maybe things happened because of me. I so did not mean to cut your check open. I really didn't. I didn't even know that I was throwing it at your face. Your head was under the blanket, so I had no idea where I was throwing the damn phone. 

But with that, I'm the one that has to end up sacrificing for it. I really at times don't think you understand things. You sit there and act like a victim and act like 'poor me', and it pisses me off. It's like all the shit you put and are putting me thru doesn't matter because finally when it's coming back to you you think that you don't deserve it. It's frustrating!  

You've done so much to me that I have said Okay. I gave in. I said I would stand by because that's my belief. It's starting to get hard now tho. I don't know how much longer I can just Stand By. If you are not willing to put up and actually grow up and deal, well I don't know how I could just watch what I wanted in my life disappear.

I'm getting old. I don't have a lot of options. And it's not like I want a whole lot of opinions either, it's just I want to know that you are willing to put yourself out there as well instead of taking everything that I'm putting out there and crushing it. It's bullshit! I gave you everything and you have now taken it for granted and I'm really just done with it!

But to say the least, I did it again. Instead of leaving .. I stayed. I got to hear about all the shit I did, in which you don't even really apologize for all the SHIT you put me thru. It's like some reason you got a Bye on that but what I do now is like the HUGE thing. Funny how what the shit you pulled was okay but the fact that if I react like how you used to is okay but it's not okay for you. Your a frickin hypocrite!

I don't like you manipulating and making everyone feel SAD for you. I don't do that! I have never. Guess maybe I should! It's annoying that you get to sit there and make ppl think horrible things about me, when you are right there in the mix.. maybe even more?!


You should be thankful for one thing. And that one thing is that my parents taught me that once you take that vow you hold on your end of the bargain. I believe in my religion.. without that I'm pretty sure your ass would be on the street.