What I miss most

This has taken me awhile. I came up with the topic, because once again apparently Tom doesn't want anything to do with it. In which I have brought it up a few times but Well, It Is What It Is. 

What I miss though. Well, if I go back a ways it's the thought that life was going to be different. I was ignorant thinking that I was going to have that white picket fence way of living. And it's not like everything is all bad or anything. (sometimes it is.. you know) It's just I had this picture in my head. This dream. 

Dreams I guess are just dreams. Made for a reason. 

I do miss the feeling of wanting you to come home and see you. I get that that's harsh. But it's also me. I know that. Mainly because I have no one in the day time. And we both know my trust issues. So I only like to talk with certain ppl, and even then it's questionable. It's just now that's like the only reason why I look forward to seeing you is just to be able to talk to someone or watch a show with someone. 

I miss the thought of going out to eat alone and it being enjoyable instead of a task. 

I had such high hopes. And it seemed like every time I told you how I was thinking/feeling/wanting it went on a deaf ear. It's always seemed to be about what you want and now I'm trying to take it back. I'm trying to do what I want. Because you did it for so long and I guess it's my turn. Give you a taste of your own medicine. 

I miss thinking that I was actually happy.